almost 3 weeks in..... How?

Well I have not written nearly as much as I promised both myself and my readers. Which are limited. Either way time for better!

We are almost 3 weeks into this deployment and I am astounded at how fast time has gone. I am so happy that time is flying by, because I miss Andrew more every day. Everyday I find ways to love him more. Without ever having to try. I will look at a picture and notice a new freckle, or notice something about him. I will hear his voice and hear something new. I will look at our emails and just fall more in love with the man that is is and who he is becoming. I am truly the luckiest woman alive. I am sorry, but i'm not sorry.

There are days I wake up hating the day already, just because he isn't here. And there are days I scream and cry into my pillows. There are days I watch video's and listen to voice mails over and over and over and my heart breaks over and over and over. It hurts. Sometimes it hurts so bad that I think my ribs are breaking inside me and I have to hold myself together with my arms. I expected this part....

What I didn't expect was the good days.
There are days I feel so happy. And so proud of him that it makes it seem like it will be no time at all and we will be back home starting life. Preparing to start our family and make this perfect dream we have talked about for so long now. There are days when I drive around and music takes over me and I feel that free feeling. There are days (many) that I know and understand our love is so strong that I have no need to fear or be sad. It's only a year, in the all of 75 maybe more we will have together and I am so grateful that I have that long with the man I love most. I know that this will happen again, and I will be alone again. Deployments won't stop until Army does, for us. But I know that with ever passing day me and my husband to be become the strongest two individuals that walk this earth. We become strong in who we are alone, and stronger in who we are as "The Keider's"

These are the things that get me through each day! PLUS the amazing face I get to see on skype and the amazing voice that comes with that face. So tender and loving and so mine. ALL mine!

Updates!
I started working at my nanny position and it's great! I am so ready to be a mom, it's silly!
Andrew is working harder then imaginable and his hours are insanely long. But he is doing so well and I am so proud of him. He is such a leader in his field and continues to impress those around him, while also helping others become inspired to work harder and harder! What an amazing man!
I am finally settling in and have had some time with friends here in Denver, life is getting easier.
I have watched about 2000 movies since I got here, and I am learning somehow to like alone time. I won't need it when he is home but I do enjoy it now.
I will be looking for a second job, to keep me busy and to make as much money as I possibly can!
Wedding planning is now in full swing and I am so excited. OBVI pinterest has been a great help in this. I swear to you that place is a miracle.
Andrew finally got an internet stick, and a phone today! I added international calling to my phone plan so we can talk more and that makes me so comforted and secure. We are able to skype when he has free time and that also just lifts my spirits so much! I am so blessed.
We are planning things for the honeymoon and I pray so hard they work out!
I have been working out again which is really boosting my confidence and helping me feel good about myself in all sorts of new ways. PLUS I can't wait to look smokin' hot like I did a year and a half ago! What a babe! JK
I am planning to celebrate my 25th birthday in a couple weeks! OMG that is crazy! Can't believe i'm going to be 25. It's a milestone for sure and I am excited to no longer feel like a kid!
My best friend from Utah, Dani Debenham and her husband came out for a visit and it was SO good to see them. I had not seen her since I left UT back in May and oh god did we have fun! I will post pictures of all the updates and things that have been going on but I waned to post this for now!

I am going to start trying my best to take one picture everyday until he comes home! This will be so much fun for me and fun for him to look at while he is over there as well.
Anyway,
I'm off to bed. Work early in the morning

Love you all!

Especially you Andrew John,
You are my world and my best friend. I have a soul mate. You make everything worth it in this world and I am so excited to be a mommy and you be a daddy and us to have the life we know we will have. We are so lucky to have found each other and I remember that every single day when I wake up, kiss your picture that sleeps with me.. and say I love you... every single day at noon.

I miss you terrible.
I'll be seeing you :)